Willing Sacrifice Read online

  Grace waited for Mom to come get them, to tell them that the worst was over. She would wipe away any blood and hide her face, but Grace would see the pain in the way Mom walked, in the way her shoulders hunched or the way she held her ribs.

  Blake pried her hand away. “Let me go.”

  “Not yet. You know the rules. We stay here until Mom comes,” she whispered.

  Jerry would be asleep soon and they’d all be safe for a few hours. Grace would help Mom clean up, get her an ice pack and pray that this time would be different.

  Too much time passed. Jerry’s snores sounded from upstairs, shaking the thin walls.

  Grace let Blake go and opened the door. “Be quiet.”

  “I know,” he snapped in a tone so much like his father that it terrified her.

  He was a few steps in front of her when he came to a sudden halt outside the kitchen doorway. There, lying on the crumpled remains of the coffee table, was Mom. One arm was bent awkwardly behind her. Blood dripped from her chin onto the carpet.

  Grace stood frozen, unable to make sense of what she saw.

  This wasn’t how things went. Mom was supposed to get up and tell them it was all going to be okay. She was supposed to make excuses for the pitiful man she’d married—the only father Grace had ever known.

  He’ll never do it again. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have made him angry. Those were the words Mom was supposed to say now—the lies she always told. And believed.

  Blake rushed to Mom’s side, shaking her. “Wake up!”

  His voice was too frantic. Too loud. He was going to wake up Jerry, and his next target was always Grace.

  “Shh,” she hissed. In that moment, shame consumed her. Her mother lay unconscious on the floor, and all she could think about was what Jerry would do to her if Blake woke him up.

  She didn’t dare cross the room. She couldn’t stand knowing the truth. Not yet. Right now, she could still pretend that everything was going to be okay, that Mom would get up and their lives would go on like they always had.

  She dialed 911 with numb fingers and held Mom’s hand while they waited for help to arrive.

  Jerry never woke up to help, not even when the paramedics carried Mom away.

  Grace opened her eyes and saw Brenya’s sad face.

  “What did you do to me?” whispered Grace. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and that deep, aching sense of shame and loss clung to her.

  “I released the knowledge you needed. The space it emptied had to be filled with something else, so I let you see what was always yours.”

  “Those were my memories,” said Grace, knowing it was true. She could remember every heartbreaking minute of that night, how the doctor had come out and told them that Mom was never going to wake up again. How Jerry had told Grace that if she reported what he’d done, both she and Blake would go live in foster care and probably never see each other again. He’d told her he would get help, be a better father.

  Like Mom, Grace had believed him because she’d wanted to.

  “I don’t understand,” she said. “How did you give me back my memory?”

  “I gave you nothing. You took it. For that, I am sorry. Some things are best left forgotten.”

  Those words made sense now in a way they never had before. Grace could remember every moment of fear, anger and grief from that night. The rest was still a dark void with no more than fluttering shadows taunting her.

  She had a mother, a brother. His was the face she’d seen in her dreams. At least now she knew his name. She also knew how much she’d loved both Mom and Blake. That alone was a tremendous gift, even as mixed with pain and loss as it had been.

  Grace had a family. She wasn’t completely alone. They were humans like her, and they’d loved her despite her weaknesses.

  That knowledge was a precious gift that helped balance out the dark burden of the memory itself.

  “Are there more memories I can see?” she asked.

  “The more important question is whether or not you know where to find the crystals.”

  Grace opened her mouth to say no, but the knowledge was there, clear and certain. “I do.”

  “Good. Then tonight’s work is done.”

  “But there’s so much more I want to know. What happened to my mother? Where is Blake?”

  “Not tonight. I am weary. Leave me and go rest for your journey.” It wasn’t a request.

  Arguing with Brenya wasn’t an option, and Grace really did worry about the older woman’s health. As much as the need for more memories burned inside Grace, she knew she would get nowhere tonight. It was best to do as she was told and bring it up another day.

  She left the hut, still reeling from what she’d seen.

  She had a family out there somewhere.

  She looked up at the sky, wondering if she would ever see them again. Were they even alive?

  Dark had fallen, and the nighttime animals had come out to play. Their chattering comforted her, making her feel grounded in reality. Wherever she’d been before in her memory—in a house she couldn’t remember—she was here now, in the world she knew and understood.

  The scent of dirt and leaves rose from the ground. Warm, humid air wrapped around her limbs, but it did little to drive away the chill just beneath her skin. The longer she turned the memory over in her mind, the more she realized what it meant.

  This man who’d brutalized her mother and terrified her and her brother had shaped her life. She couldn’t remember him clearly, but he still had control over her. He was the reason she flinched and shied away from displays of anger. He was the reason she would hide under the covers, afraid of some nameless threat in the night. Even from a distance of both time and space, he shaped her.

  The idea that she let it happen gave her a rare surge of anger.

  She had to walk this off, shed the oily film of fury that left ugly streaks across her insides.

  She wasn’t like Jerry. Never would be. Now that she knew he existed, it was time to take away any lingering control he had over her.

  There was no conscious thought to her path. Only habit guided her steps as she walked blindly along the edge of the village.

  It wasn’t until strong hands circled her arms that she realized that she’d almost walked right into Torr.

  “Whoa—I said your name three times. Where were you?” he asked.

  “Sorry. I didn’t hear you.”

  “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  Maybe she had. Was her family still alive? Were they looking for her?

  His thumbs stroked her skin, calming her a bit. Some of the shaky fear and anger trickled out of her, giving her a little room to breathe.

  “Something’s wrong,” he said. “You talked to Brenya, didn’t you?”

  Grace nodded as she looked up at him. Once again she was struck by the beauty of the band around his throat. For a second, she forgot all about her own thoughts, which helped ease some of her roiling emotions.

  From the necklace, her eyes naturally wandered to the skin beneath it and the strong lines of his neck. She’d been cradled close to him only a few hours ago, and she could still recall his scent and the way it made her whole body relax and grow languid.

  His expression hardened. “Did she upset you? If she did, I’ll—”

  Grace instinctively pressed her hand against his chest to calm his anger. “No, it’s not that. I mean, she did, but it wasn’t her fault.”

  “Of course it was her fault. That woman has got to stop playing queen and start thinking before she speaks.” His tone was getting sharper, angrier.

  Grace took a step back, shoving herself away from him. His body didn’t even sway. “Stop it,” she said, surprising herself with the force of her words. “Brenya saved my life. She can talk to me however she likes.”

  “Okay,” he said, more gently. He lifted his hands, palms out, completely nonthreatening. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

  “She gave me
back my memory,” she said. “Well, I guess she didn’t give it. I took it, but it feels like the same thing to me.”

  His face lit up, gleaming with a kind of hope she couldn’t understand. “You remember?”

  She nodded. “I have a brother. A family.”

  “What else do you remember? Who else?”

  “A doctor whose name I don’t know. Maybe I never did. And a stepfather who I wish I’d never known.”

  Hope fell from his expression, leaving behind a bleak stare. “No one else?”

  “No. Why? Do you know something I don’t?”

  His lips clamped shut until all the blood was pushed from them. He looked like he ached to say something, but instead he turned around and started walking away.

  Grace grabbed his arm. The instant her fingertips touched his skin, he rocked to a halt. She swung in front of him just in time to see him close his eyes and brace himself. For what, she wasn’t sure.

  “What aren’t you telling me?” she asked.

  After what seemed like a long time, he finally opened his eyes and looked down at her. In the darkness, his amber gaze seemed to glow, catching flickering bits of torchlight along the path.

  “I’m glad you remembered your family. That’s got to feel good.”

  He hadn’t answered her question, but at least he wasn’t running away after she’d snapped at him. “I wish I knew more about them. I don’t even know if they’re still alive. What if they’re looking for me?”

  “Are you happy here?”

  “Mostly.”

  “Then you’re doing everything you can to ease any worries your family or friends might have. Given the circumstances, that’s going to have to be enough.”

  “But I want to find them.”

  “What does Brenya say about that?”

  “She shooed me away before we could really talk about it.”

  “That should tell you something.”

  “She’s tired. That’s all.”

  His brows lifted in disbelief. “Then I guess you’ll have to talk to her about it tomorrow.”

  “You and I are supposed to go hunting for some crystals tomorrow.”

  A swift flash of anger tightened his features before he controlled it. Instinctively, Grace backed up out of reach.

  At least now she knew why she did that—it was something her stepfather had taught her. Still, she hated it that he had any influence over her at all.

  “I would never hurt you, Grace,” he said, disappointment softening his tone.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you.”

  “Never mind. It’s not about me.” He ran his fingers through his dark hair, leaving it messy.

  The urge to undo the damage ran through her, but she kept her hands to herself. She really didn’t know him well enough to be touching him every time the mood struck. Which it did often.

  “I’ll try harder not to flinch.”

  “You do whatever you need to do to feel safe, Grace. I mean that.”

  “I don’t think ‘safe’ is going to be on the menu for a while. We have to go out tomorrow, and who knows how many of those Hunters are out there?”

  If the way his skin darkened was any indication, he really didn’t like that idea. “Do you know where the crystals are?”

  “I do now.”

  “Tell me,” he ordered.

  Her instincts were to obey a command given in that kind of forceful tone, but when she opened her mouth to comply, there were no words. “I don’t know how to tell you. I can see a picture in my head as clear as if I were looking at it now, but it’s just an image.” And a feeling that she needed to head south. “I think it’s one of those things I’m going to have to show you.”

  “In a perfect world, I’d be able to see what’s in your head.”

  She wasn’t sure how, but she didn’t ask. It was either one of those things she’d forgotten or one she’d never known because she was human. “But it’s not a perfect world. And as much as I’d rather stay here where it’s safe, I’m glad that neither one of us has to go out there alone.”

  His hand lifted as though he was going to reach for her, but it fell to his side before he could. “There’s no one I’d rather be with, but you’re the absolute last person I want to take out there with me.”

  Now it was her turn to have her feelings hurt. “It’s because I can’t fight, isn’t it?”

  “If you were the fiercest warrior on the planet, I’d still want you to stay where it’s safe.”

  “Nowhere is really safe. Animals make their way into the village all the time.” After seeing him fight, she was sure that the safest place around was right by his side. But she was going to slow him down. “You know, you could show me a few moves, maybe help me prove to the other women—and you—that I’m not a complete weakling.”

  “You shouldn’t feel the need to prove anything.”

  “Easy for the manly man with the invisible sword to say. All I’ve got is this knife.” She drew it from her waistband to show him how puny it was. “That’s why my only option was to step off a cliff.”

  “Don’t remind me.” He shuddered, and every muscle in his gleaming body flexed.

  A tingle from somewhere deep down started to uncurl in her belly, spreading out through her limbs until she wasn’t sure she could even hold the knife. She didn’t know why this man had the power to make her go weak, but he definitely did.

  Grace wasn’t sure if she hated that or loved it.

  “You need a better grip,” he told her as he pulled the dagger from her limp fingers. “Hold the blade along your forearm to keep it hidden until the very last second.”

  “Wouldn’t it be better to scare someone away by letting them see it?”

  “With that little knife?” He snorted. “Not likely. Surprise is a better option for someone like you.”

  “Like me how? A wimp?”

  “I wouldn’t have said it that way.”

  Anger was starting to slip into her tone. “How would you have said it?”

  “You’re human. You have the strength of a human. There’s no shame in that.”

  “Again, easy for you to say. It’s not like I’m asking you to give me your sword. I just want a little knowledge.”

  He forced out a long breath as if seeking patience. “A little knowledge can be dangerous.”

  “More dangerous than stepping off a cliff?”

  “You have a point.” He repositioned the knife in her hand and showed her how to hold it. His warm fingers closed around her fist, making his words trickle away, unheard.

  She stared up at him, watching his mouth move. The little dent above his top lip was beyond intriguing. She wanted to slide her finger along the contours to get a better feel. Or maybe even her tongue.

  The thought was enough to make a mist of perspiration break out across her spine.

  He went still and looked into her eyes. “You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?” There was no censure in his tone, but a demanding kind of curiosity that compelled her to respond.

  “Sorry.”

  His gaze moved over her face, slowly, like a caress. He was so close to her like this, one of his hands covering hers on the grip of the knife, the other at her shoulder, changing her position. She could smell his intoxicating skin and feel shimmering waves of heat spilling from his body.

  The need to get closer overwhelmed her, driving all rational thought from her head. Her feet shifted closer to his. He lifted the blade so she wouldn’t stab either of them. The move brought her right up against his frame, so close that the tips of her nipples brushed against him whenever he breathed in.

  Torr’s eyes went dark, his lids falling to half-mast. His hand glided down to the small of her back, splaying wide. She wanted him to pull her closer, to increase the pressure of his chest against her nipples. They tightened in anticipation, but he didn’t draw her in.

  His fingertips found the opening along the back of her tunic and slipped inside. A burs
t of pleasure exploded down her spine, and a soft sigh escaped her lips.

  His expression hardened at the sound, and every muscle along his frame vibrated with tension.

  He stared at her mouth now, and hunger lit his eyes. “You tempt me.”

  To do what, she wasn’t sure. Nor was she sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. “Should I be sorry?”

  “I fear you will be if I give in and do what I desire.”

  Desire sounded good. “What’s that?”

  His fingers curled against her skin, pulling her fractionally closer. “Everything.”

  Her heart surged against her ribs. She had to swallow before she could speak. “Long list.”

  “Yes. It is. One that would take a lifetime to exhaust. Maybe longer.”

  “Sounds like you should get started on that.” With her.

  “Do you even know what you’re asking for? Just how much of your knowledge was taken?”

  “Not so much that I don’t know what men and women do together, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “But you don’t know what you’ve done. Or haven’t.”

  “True.”

  “And you don’t know if there was a man in your life—one who might object to you helping me with such a list.”

  He was right. She didn’t know. And a horrible, selfish part of her didn’t even care.

  Grace wanted to move on with her new life, to find some kind of meaning and happiness, but what if there was someone else? What if she was married?

  She shoved away from him. Every cell in her body suffered a little death at the separation, but she ignored the agony. “I should go to bed.”

  Torr stood there, his arms tight at his sides as if to keep from reaching for her. “Yeah. I think that’s best. I’ll come get you first thing tomorrow.”

  She walked away, sure that she was going to be spending the night playing that scene out in her head over and over again, rather than sleeping.

  Tomorrow she had to set out alone with Torr. She didn’t know how she was going to keep her distance when she was so drawn to him, but she knew she had to find a way.